Othello had been missing for 3 days, on the rearing verge of the 4th.  No one had seen him all summer, and a week or so before we all moved back in he sent 3 people an email, then disappeared.

Ian was the first message to be sent out.  With the ersatz money that had stocked up over the past 5 months pr so, he purchased the remaining “423” boys a flat screen TV, a Wii gaming system, swede furniture covers, decorative plants, and a kitchen stocked with food. 

Ian’s was a list, with a brief explain paragraph on the bottom.  The list contained an organizational filing of the items he had left in the hands of the boys.  Of course he had felt bad for failing his love, Daley, and her 3 roommates so he left them some little trinkets as well, a coffee machine and a gift for Daley.  Then Othello cordially signed off his goodbyes and thought of his next email.

To his precious, Daley, he thought days and days and all that amounted was rain puddling into an ocean of grief.  His final message to her, “I am sorry.”.

And last, to the most obnoxious prick of them all, Mirra.  It was him who ruined it, ruined his chance at winning it all.  Othello had sent him the bitterest goodbye of them all, laced with a snarling undertone barking out strings of threats.  Othello would be watching him, and would easily take matters into his own hands if Mirra didn’t get the hint.  

On the 4th day of his disappearance, Daley stayed out especially late after school.  It was only the first day of classes and she claimed to already be studying in the Student Union.  Her roommate knew better than to believe Daley, and went by the Student Union to check in on Daley.  It was closed, for over an hour now.  So why had Daley lied?

It was the coldest night this summer, August 23rd.  Deeply overcast and breezy, I wore sweatpants and my black sweater all day.  I am not sure what to make of this.  Goosebumps and shakes plagued my body.  It’s the kind of cold that makes my bones ache in apprehension of the falls frost. 

I am not quite sure what to make of this. 

The air was already steadily nippy right around the time I met you.  I think of the night you walked me home after work, the only time you walked me home after work, the only time we counted out together.  I felt amazing that night.  In my patchy winter coat, with the icy rush nibbling my cheeks rosy pink.  You told me a story without having to have been asked.  I think that’s when I realized I very possibly loved you.  In the darkest part of the evening, with a city bus roaring by and sirens blurred, we walked the long way home.  And when you kissed me goodnight, the kiss thawed my cold hard walls and warmed me deep under my skin. 

Now I’m on the last drag of my cigarette and I wonder if this is the breaking point.  On the ground the cigarette butt exhausted its last whispers of smoke.  

mad girl's love song

1953

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"